


Green

by fiveainley_ohmy



Series: Holidays [5]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Academy Era, Cuddling, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Multi, St. Patrick's Day, T'hy'la bond, Vulcan Mind Melds, holiday fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-06-13
Packaged: 2019-03-31 16:33:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13979130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiveainley_ohmy/pseuds/fiveainley_ohmy
Summary: Spock tries to get divorced and Jim tries not to get jealous of T'Pring.





	1. That Night

“You’re...what?” Jim said, staring at the Vulcan underneath him in shock.

Spock sighed unhappily. Jim peeled himself off of the Vulcan’s body as he sat up. “It is not by my volition,” Spock clarified. “In all honesty, I barely know my intended. I met her briefly when I was seven, at our joining ceremony. I did not ask to be tied to her, nor she to me. It is a tradition carried out by old families on Vulcan, and a rather antiquated one at that.”

“You’re saying, you’re in an arranged marriage?” Jim said.

Spock nodded. “Technically, it is not official until my spouse and I...well, that is not important at the moment.”

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me before now?!” Jim exclaimed.

“I do not think of her on a regular basis. It is easy to forget that she exists.” Spock touched Jim’s cheek. “Especially when there are...more preferable distractions present.”

“A distraction. That’s all I am,” huffed Jim sadly, turning away.

“No, Jim.” Spock’s voice was stern, yet tender. He coaxed Jim to look back at him. “You are what I desire most in all the universe.”

Jim felt his breath catch at the declaration. “I love you too, Spock. More than anything.”

Spock’s eyes brightened, a sad smile in their deep brown pools, just for a moment. Then he turned somber again. “But I cannot...make love to you, Jim. I’m sorry.”

Jim nodded miserably, his eyes welling up with tears. “It’s okay. I understand.”

“Jim,” Spock whispered softly, drawing them closer together. “Please do not be sad, my beloved.”

“How can I not be?” Jim sniffled. “I finally, _finally_ get to be with you, just to find out that I can’t be with you! How can I not be sad about that?”

“Jim...my James...” And then Spock leaned forward and kissed him so tenderly. “I...love you,” he whispered, as if it were a terrible secret. “And I am willing to fight for us to be together.”

“But your marriage...”

“Is not set in stone. I will contact T’Pring—that is, my fiancée—and I will convince her to dissolve our marriage. Divorce laws are a bit antiquated on my planet, but we can come to a mutual arrangement. I do not believe T’Pring wants me as a mate either. And then, _ashayam_ , I will be free to be truly yours.”

“And that’s what you want?” Jim asked, hardly daring to believe it.

“It is what I have wanted for so very long,” Spock said solemnly, before kissing Jim again.

Jim kissed him back, sorrow fighting with joy. Eventually joy won out, and Jim burst into fresh tears.

Spock broke the kiss. “Why do you still cry, beloved?”

Jim gasped. “Silly...human...emotion.” He gasped again. “Humans cry when they’re happy too. You love me...you really, really love me.”

“Indeed I do.” Spock was staring at him in wonder and amusement. He shook his head, smiling imperceptibly. “I will never understand your kind,” he said. “Foolish, frivolous, illogical-”

Jim cut him off with another kiss, bringing their bodies closer together. He felt Spock surrender to his touch and immerse himself in it, and felt at ease again.

Everything was going to be alright. They would be together...someday. That was enough.

When they reluctantly ended the kiss, Jim sighed longingly. “It’s getting late. I wish I didn’t have to leave.”

“You don’t,” Spock said. “You can stay here, with me.”

“But you said we can’t...”

“No, we can’t. But I wish to...hold you as we sleep. Is that an odd thing to your culture?”

Jim couldn’t believe his ears. He laughed. “You wanna cuddle with me?” he asked.

“I...yes,” Spock answered, blushing.

“Oh Spock, I would love that more than anything,” Jim sighed. That was just as good, if not _better_ than having sex. Then something occurred to him. “Wait, don’t you have a roommate? Will they be disturbed if I’m here?”

“My roommate would not care if you slept in my bed if he was here. But it doesn’t matter, because I believe he is staying over at his girlfriend’s dormitory tonight.”

“Hmm.” Jim smiled thoughtfully. “That’s convenient. Your roommate’s Montgomery Scott from the engineering track, right? I’ve run into him a few times. He’s a nice guy.”

“Indeed. He is one of the more accepting individuals that I have come across. Much like you.” Spock smiled gently at him.

Jim kissed him. “I just try to be a decent person. That’s all.”

“You are more than decent. You are one of the kindest, most compassionate people I have ever met. It is one of the traits in you that I admire most.”

“That’s surprising, coming from a Vulcan,” Jim commented. “I figured you guys prioritized intelligence over everything. I would have thought kindness to be considered weak.”

“To some Vulcans, I suppose it might,” Spock admitted. “I personally find it refreshing.”

“Spock, I promise you, I’ll always treat you well. God, I just love you _so much_ and I want you to feel cherished. Promise you’ll always tell me if I do something that offends you or upsets you or if there’s something I’m neglecting to do.”

“I cannot imagine you erring so seriously. But yes, I will tell you. And in turn, I must warn you that I am a Vulcan and at times I may seem cold and indifferent, but I swear, _k’diwa_ , that I will never stop caring for you.”

Jim smiled. They were holding hands, and Spock still had his mental shields down, so “ _k’diwa_ ” translated into “ _love_ ” in his head. Jim couldn’t _wait_ to learn Vulcan properly so he would be able to say romantic things to Spock in his native tongue.

Spock smiled, picking up on this thought. “I would like that very much. Modern Vulcan does not lend itself well to sentiment, but if I know you, you will bend the language to your will. And if you need a tutor...”

Jim grinned devilishly. “I look very forward to familiarizing myself with your tongue, Spock.”

Spock blushed brightly. His cheeks turned a lovely shade of green. Jim laughed and kissed the end of his nose. “Teach me some now.”

Spock thought for a second. “ _Duhsu_.”

“ _Duhsu_ ,” Jim repeated. “What’s it mean?”

Spock touched the end of Jim’s nose. “Fool.”

“Hey!”

Spock chuckled. “ _Vaksurik_.”

“ _Vaksurik_? What’s that one mean?” Jim pretended to pout. “Stupid? Idiot?”

The Vulcan kissed his brow. “Beautiful,” he whispered reverently. He smiled fondly. “ _Vaksurik duhsu_.”

Now it was Jim’s turn to blush. “Nice save,” he mumbled bashfully. “Teach me another.”

“ _Yuk-tor_.”

“ _Yuk-tor_? What does that mean?”

“Sleep. Which is exactly what we should be doing now.” Spock found the remote to his telescreen, which had been playing _Thumbelina_ all this time, forgotten in all the emotional brouhaha, and turned it off. “Computer, lights at five percent,” he said, and the lights automatically dimmed to where the room was almost completely dark, but the two men could still make out each other’s faces. “There will be time for more words tomorrow, beloved.”

“One more, please,” Jim begged as they nestled their bodies together on Spock’s bed, Spock on his back, Jim curled up to his side.

Spock sighed, but said, “Alright, what is it?”

Jim rubbed his cheek against Spock’s chest. “How do you say ‘I love you’ in Vulcan?” he sighed.

Spock smiled. “That is three words,” he couldn’t resist.

“ _Pleeeeease?_ ”

“ _Ashau nash-veh k’dular_ ,” Spock obliged him.

“ _Osha nesh-veh cuddler_ , Spock,” Jim tried.

Spock fought back a chuckle. He would learn, in time. “I love you too, my Jim. Now, rest, most beloved.”

Jim nuzzled his face into the intersection of Spock’s neck and shoulder as the Vulcan and the human wrapped arms around each other. All the emotional taxation had worn Jim out mentally, and very soon he was fast asleep. Spock, his nose close enough to Jim’s rich, honey-colored hair to smell its comforting woodsiness, quickly followed his sleeping lover’s example, feeling warm and secure in his grasp.


	2. The Morning After

Morning came, unfortunately, and Spock’s alarm went off at 0500. Jim moaned groggily and tightened his arms around Spock. “Stay,” he mumbled into the Vulcan’s chest.

A warm chuckle and a kiss pressed to the top of his head. “I must get up, _ashayam_. I have a calisthenics class I lead early in the morning.”

“ _Calisthenics?_ ” Jim said in disbelief. “How the hell did you get roped into that?”

“I volunteered.”

Jim laughed sleepily, his eyes unwilling to open yet. “Of course you did.”

Spock slipped out from under him and left the room, and Jim drifted back to sleep for another thirty minutes or so. The next thing he knew, a slightly damp and soap-scented Spock was kissing the shell of his ear. “I must leave now,” he murmured. “But you are free to stay as long as you wish.”

Jim sighed and forced his eyes open. They felt funny from having slept in his contact lenses. “No, I might as well get up. I have an 8 AM, and it takes me a while to get ready in the morning.” He smiled playfully at Spock, who was already dressed in his cadet uniform. “I don’t just wake up looking pretty, you know.”

Spock hummed consideringly. “I would beg to differ,” he said, smirking a tiny bit.

“You charmer,” Jim chuckled, sitting up to kiss him good morning properly.

Spock left him after that, and Jim got up and put his shoes on, heading back to his own dorm. In the hallway, he passed Montgomery Scott, doing the early morning walk of shame. “Mornin’, Scotty,” said Jim with a knowing grin. “Good Valentine’s date, I take it?”

“Ah, a gentleman never tells, me lad,” Scotty replied, matching him smirk for smirk. “Say, yeh didn’t spend all night with Spock, did ye?”

“Mmm...maybe,” Jim answered coyly.

“Oh ho ho!” Scotty laughed, clapping him on the back.

“No, no, it wasn’t  _that_ ,” Jim said, chuckling shyly. “But some things did happen between us. Mostly just talking...and a little kissing.”

“Ah, good fer you, laddie,” Scotty congratulated. “Cannae tell ye how long all o’ us have been waitin’ fer you two twitterpated kids to get on with things.”

“Really? Who’s ‘all of us’?” Jim asked.

“Oh, jest me, Nyota, Bones, and literally anyone with eyes. I b’lieve there’s a betting pool goin’.”

“Great,” Jim laughed, covering his blushing face with his hands. “I guess everyone knew except me and Spock.”

“ _Love is blind, and lovers cannot see the pretty follies that themselves commit_ ,” Scotty quoted sagely.

“I guess you’ve got a point there,” Jim said. “Well, I better get back to my dorm.”

“Aye, and me as well.” Scotty patted him again on the shoulder. “Take it easy, lad.”

Jim hiked through the misty, quiet campus. Not many cadets were out and about at this hour, either still sleeping or just waking up. Jim soon reached his building, let himself inside, then traveled upstairs to his and Bones’s room. He wondered if Bones would already be up.

But he was met with a surprise when he opened the door.

Bones was dead to the world, but he wasn’t alone in his bed. Curled up next to him was...

“Carol?!” Jim blurted out in shock.

The two immediately woke up.

“Uhh...sorry,” said Jim, turning red.

“Jim, you're home?” Bones said sleepily.

“Jim? You’re Leo’s roommate?” added Carol.

“Bones is the guy you’re interested in?” Jim responded. “And you call him _Leo_?”

“Well, yes. And after our date last night, I-”

“Hold on. _This_ Carolwas your date last night?” Bones said, suddenly awake.

“Uhhh...look, you two are both clearly naked under those covers, so I’m gonna leave and let you two get dressed. Then we can talk,” Jim said, backing out of the room and shutting the door behind him. His head was spinning.

 _Man! Did_ **_everyone_ ** _get laid last night except me?_

* * *

After visiting the dining hall downstairs, Jim returned with coffees for all three of them. Bones was sitting on his bed and Carol was sitting at his desk.

“Oh, Jim, thank you,” said Carol, seeing the coffee.

“Don’t mention it. Figured we could all use the caffeine, seeing as we all had late nights last night, apparently,” Jim chuckled sheepishly as he handed out the paper cups.

Bones and Carol both blushed.

“Don’t be embarrassed,” Jim said, taking his own coffee cup and sitting down on his own cot. “I was just caught off guard when I came in. I didn’t know you two liked each other.”

“Well, neither did we,” said Carol. “Leo and I have been friendly for a while.”

“We’re lab partners in Advanced Exobiology,” Bones inserted.

“So I decided to come over after we parted ways, since we have that test tomorrow, so we could study. And...one thing led to another...”

“ _Uh huh_ ,” said Jim with a wry smile.

“Don’t look at me like that, Jim Kirk,” Carol playfully scolded. “It wasn’t like I came over with the _intention_ of...well anyway, so it turned out that we’ve both been attracted to each other for awhile, so it all worked out in the end.”

“Bones!” laughed Jim. “Why didn’t you tell me you liked Carol?! I would’ve set you two up!”

“Hey, why didn’t _you_ tell _me_ the girl you were goin’ out with last night was my girlfriend?” Bones shot back with a grin.

“I wasn’t your girlfriend last night,” Carol pointed out.

“Well...are you my girlfriend this morning?” Bones asked, blushing.

Carol pretended to consider it. “Well...I suppose so.” She smiled, leaned over, and kissed Bones’s cheek.

“Awww, you kids are adorable,” said Jim. “I ship it.”

“Really? You mean, this isn’t too weird for you?” Bones said.

“Nah,” said Jim. “How could it be weird for me when I’m _in looooove?_ ” He spun around on his desk chair.

“Oh, that’s right! How did things go with Spock?” Carol said.

“Hmm, last night’s clothes, not getting in 'til 6:30 AM, can’t stop grinning like an idiot...I’d guess things went _very_ well,” Bones said smugly.

“No, no, we didn’t do _that_...but we did kiss. A _lot_. And we cuddled _all night_ ,” replied Jim proudly.

“ _Awww_ ,” cooed Carol.

“Vulcans cuddle?” Bones said in surprise.

“I know, I was surprised too,” Jim nodded. He smiled happily. “And he loves me. He told me so.”

“Well good for you, Jimmy Boy!” Bones crowed, coming over to bear hug Jim.

“Yeah, well...” Jim sighed. “It’s not all good news.”

“Whaddya mean?”

Jim took in a deep breath. “Spock is...married.”

“ _What?_ ” Bones and Carol gasped simultaneously.

“From what I understand of the matter, a lot of marriages on Vulcan are arranged at a young age. It’s a paper marriage, really. Spock barely knows his wife. And he definitely doesn’t want to be married to her, now that I’m here. He doesn’t even believe that she wants him either. Which I just can’t imagine. I mean, have you _met_ Spock? He’s brilliant and gorgeous and amazing-”

“Alright, alright, loverboy, we get it,” Bones said, sipping his black coffee. “So what’re y'all gonna do?”

Jim shrugged. “I guess Spock will talk to his wife, I guess? Get her to sign some divorce papers, or whatever Vulcans do.”

“Well then,” said Bones, sitting back on his bed. “Seems like a fairly open-and-shut thing.”

“Yeah...” said Jim. “But I just can’t help but feel a little...territorial. Which is ridiculous. Spock’s not even mine...he’s hers.”

“Do I detect a little green-eyed monster?” Bones asked, gently teasing.

“I dunno,” Jim said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Maybe.”

“Jim, you’re being silly,” Carol said. “No matter what his marital status is, Spock’s _heart_ obviously belongs to you. You shouldn’t be threatened by somebody who Spock isn’t even attracted to.”

“How do I know he isn’t?” Jim said. “I don’t know what she looks like. What if she’s stunningly beautiful? How’m I supposed to compete with that?”

“Uh, Jim? You ain’t exactly Quasimodo yourself,” Bones chuckled. “You have to at least be a little attractive if Carol thought you were on her level. Obviously you’re not as attractive as _me_ , but-”

“You’re an idiot,” Carol said, playfully smacking the back of his head. “And so are you, Jim. Spock loves you for you. That’s not going to change.”

Jim smiled a little. “I guess you’re right, Carol. Maybe I am-” Jim caught a look at the time. “Oh _shit_ , I need to get ready, I’m gonna be late for class!”

Carol and Bones laughed as Jim bounded into the bathroom. “He’s hopeless, ain’t he?” Bones said.

“No. Not hopeless,” Carol said, smiling thoughtfully. “He's young. He’ll learn.”


	3. A Month Later

Saint Patrick’s Day was coming up soon. Jim didn’t really know why it was celebrated. To him it just seemed like an excuse for people to get to pinch others. It was sort of pointless anyway, since their cadet uniforms were red. _No_ one would be wearing green. Unless you counted Spock when he blushed. Spock was so cute when he blushed.

Out of respect for Spock’s wife (it made Jim cringe with jealousy every time he thought of her), they had kept things between them pretty innocent. Jim and Spock still hung out as friends, but there was no dating, no sleeping in the same bed after the one time, and only quick kisses every now and then. Jim respected Spock’s sense of strict monogamy, but man, he just wanted to kiss and cuddle him all the time. Jim wanted Spock to be his, _all_ his. It just wasn’t fair.

”I am sorry for your frustration, _ashayam_ ,” Spock had said the other day. “And I am grateful for your patience.”

Jim had just smiled and nodded understandingly. He could wait to really be with Spock.

For Spock, he’d wait forever.

”Hey, Gary said he’s throwin’ a St. Patty’s Day party and he wants you to dress up as a leprechaun.”

Jim threw his hacky sack at a devilishly grinning Bones’s head. “Absolutely not,” he said with a smirk.

Bones easily caught it and tossed it back to Jim. “Just kiddin’, kiddo. Actually, it’s Uhura and her roommate Gaila who are throwin’ the shindig. Man, I bet Gaila never gets pinched on St. Patrick’s Day—she’s green all over.”

”So is Spock,” Jim sighed. “I mean, obviously not as green as an Orion, but when he blushes...gosh, he’s so cute. He looks like a Brussel sprout.”

”All over, eh?” Bones chuckled.

”Well I don’t know _that_ ,” Jim said, chucking the sack at him again. “But I can imagine...”

”Just don’t you do any _imaginin_ ’ while I’m here,” Bones shuddered.

”Easy to say for the guy getting regularly laid,” Jim said, a tad bit wistfully. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’d never push Spock into anything he doesn’t want or isn’t ready for. But it’s like...when we touch, there’s this _electricity_ between us. It’s...” Jim blushed a bit. “Stimulating.”

”I bet Vulcans have freaky kinky mind sex, whatcha wanna bet? No race can be that truly repressed.”

” _Bones!_ ” Jim half-laughed, half-groaned.

After a humorous moment, Bones asked Jim, “How’s the divorce-ment coming? You know, mine took a whole year. I can’t imagine how complicated those hobgoblins make it.”

”I don’t know. There’s a whole telepathic bond thing that has to be dissolved. Spock alluded to something that Vulcan married couples go through that finalizes their marriage, but he didn’t tell me what. Apparently he and his wife haven’t done whatever it is, so it’s not official yet. And then there’s the families to deal with. Spock said that he doesn’t think his wife wants to be tied to him anymore than he does to her, but it’s a whole dynasty matchmaking type thing to deal with. Spock has to be very careful in not offending his in-laws.”

Bones whistled. “Who knew such a stiff race could be so touchy?”

"I believe that is the pot calling the kettle black, Leonard."

Spock was standing the doorway. Jim grinned and jumped up. "Hi, baby," he said, hugging Spock and pecking his cheek.

"Hello, my beloved. I have come over for our study date."

" _Study_. Sure." Bones rolled his eyes.

"No, we really are going to study. I really want to ace this test in Xenodiplomatic Relations, and what better way to do that than to study with the teaching assistant?" Jim playfully bumped his hip against Spock's.

"Alright," said Bones, getting up. "I'll get outta your hair then. Think I might go study _anatomy_ with Carol."

"Bones!" Jim groaned again.

"What is it?" Spock asked him as Bones let himself out. "He is simply going to study with his girlfriend."

"No, Spock. 'Studying anatomy' is a euphemism for having sex."

Spock blushed slightly. "Oh."

Jim chuckled, kissing his cheek again. "You're adorable. Now, let’s crack those books."

* * *

It was not long until Jim was distracted. Spock sighed patiently. “Jim...”

”I’m sorry, Spock, but Caecilian greeting rituals are really complicated and boring!”

”And what if you were the Captain of a starship, sent on a mission to Caecilius to make diplomatic contact? You would regret not paying attention to this lesson.”

”My brain is just drained, Spock. I need a chemical stimulant.”

Spock’s eyebrows shot up. “Jim, I hope you are not suggesting _drugs_.”

Jim cracked up laughing. “Good lord, I meant _coffee_. Unless you count caffeine as a drug. How about we take a quick study break while I go downstairs to the cafe and get us some drinks?”

Spock considered that, then nodded. “Very well. I will take a green tea with lemon and honey, if that is available.”

”As you wish, my little snickerdoodle.” Jim pecked his cheek and flounced out the door.

Spock shook his head fondly. Jim always was referring to him as various ridiculously named Earth foods. He suspected it was mostly in jest. But with that human, one could have difficulty identifying the boundary between comedy and seriousness.

Spock turned to Jim’s bookshelf (despite being able to access any literary files on their PADDs, Jim insisted on still owning physical books of paper—it was one of Jim’s strange little quirks that endeared him to Spock) and pulled out one of the novels to peruse as he waited for Jim to return. But when he did so, he accidentally knocked out another tome. It fell open for Spock to see.

It was a picture album, Spock realized. Inside there were photos of Jim, and also Jim’s brother Sam, Sam’s wife Aurelan, and a man and a woman who Spock did not recognize, but judging from their familiar features, Spock could only surmise that they were Jim’s parents.

But photos were not the only thing the album held. There was also a looseleaf paper, with a childlike drawing on it. In the corner, the small letters JTK had been scrawled, with the date underneath. The picture was drawn by Jim when he was no more than nine years old.

Spock stared curiously at the sketch. Two boys, one standing on the ground, one afloat in the air, hovering some two feet above the plane, under a starlit sky. The floating boy seemed to be glowing, and was holding out his hand to the one on the ground, as if beckoning him to come along. The boy on the ground was holding out his hand as well, a big smile on his face.

The boy on the ground was clearly supposed to be Jim. The other was...obviously not human. He had large, feathery wings, green skin, and antennae on his head. But otherwise, he was humanoid, with dark hair and a peaceful smile.

“Oh.”

Spock jumped minutely. He hadn't even heard Jim come back in. Jim, drinks clutched in both his hands, was staring at the sketch in sickly surprise. “I drew that a long time ago. Just dumb kid stuff.”

“What is it?” Spock asked.

Jim shook his head, setting down the cups. “Forget it. It's stupid.”

“Please,” Spock softly insisted. “Tell me.”

Jim stared at him. Then he sighed, and sat down on his bed. Gone was his usual sunny attitude, replaced by sagging shoulders and eyes cast down to the floor.

“Alright,” he said. “But no one’s ever known this about me. Not even Bones. Only you, Spock. Because I don't find this...easy to talk about.”

Spock took a sit beside him on the mattress. “You can confide in me anything, Jim.”

Jim looked at him and nodded, the corner of his lips turning up a tiny bit. He looked at the sketch. “Have you ever had an imaginary friend, Spock?”

Spock shook his head.

“I didn't think so,” Jim chuckled hollowly. “Probably not logical. Well, sometimes, when human children are...lonely...or sad...they make up these imaginary companions for themselves. Playmates, or sometimes even heroes.” Jim tapped the floating boy in his drawing. “This was my imaginary friend. I called him Starboy.”

“What did you do with...Starboy?”

“What didn't we do?” Jim smiled wistfully. “I imagined that Starboy was an alien who came to the colony where I lived. He could fly, and he would take me away to other planets to have adventures. Sometimes we were knights, slaying dragons and saving princes and princesses. Other times we were fighting pirates on the high seas. And sometimes, we just talked. I was by myself a lot as a kid--I didn't really have any friends.”

“You were lonely,” said Spock.

Jim nodded. “I was stuck at home, so I couldn't go out and play with the others. My brother Sam was working to support himself and me. And my parents...” Jim trailed off, haunted by something.

Spock sat in suspended silence, waiting.

Jim looked at him. “More than a friend...I wanted someone to save me. I wanted someone to take me by the hand and fly me away and never make me go back there.”

“Back where?” Spock asked.

Jim shuddered. “ _Tarsus IV_ ,” he whispered.

Spock's eyes widened. “Tarsus IV?” he repeated, aghast. Everyone knew what had happened on that planet.

Jim nodded. “Where they took my parents away from me and Sam...and killed them.”

“Jim...” Spock was at a loss for words.

“Along with a whole lot of other people,” Jim said, clearly bereaved by the memories. “Mothers, fathers, kids...even babies...the irony is, Starfleet had stationed my mom and dad there only for a few months. But then this man, Kodos—they called him “the Executioner”—he rose to power. He was obsessed with the idea of perfecting humanity. Just like the eugenics maniacs from Earth’s third World War. He and his followers rounded up all the citizens of the colony that he deemed flawed—including my parents—and he had them all killed. I was only seven years old.” Jim was beginning to cry.

“Oh, Jim...” Spock didn't know what else to do, so he embraced Jim tightly.

“One day, some men came to the house, looked all of us over...and then they just took Mom and Dad with them when they left,” Jim said into Spock’s chest, tears running freely down his cheeks. “Sam was crying and I had no idea why. He was 13, and he knew what was going on. They didn't come back home that night. I remember asking him where they were, when they were coming home, and Sam began crying again. They didn't come back the next day, or the next week, or the next month...they just never came back.”

Spock closed his eyes, his heart breaking for Jim. He held the human close, stroking his hair and back as the other man wept.

After several minutes, Jim looked up at him. “So Sam raised me on his own. It was just the two of us. We were stuck in that terrible place for five years, ‘til Starfleet finally found out what was happening and brought Kodos down. The son of a bitch escaped, though, and he's probably still out there somewhere. He kept everyone under his thumb—if you weren't out working, you had to stay inside your dwelling. I was locked up inside all day, alone, till Sam got home. So I dreamed, and I drew. That's where Starboy came from. Starboy was my friend, who took me by the hand and into the stars, far away from Kodos and his soldiers and the deaths...” Jim sobbed a couple times more. “He was my angel.”

Such horror and tragedy this man had known. No one should have to live through pain so great, Spock thought.

“I wish I could undo all your suffering,” the Vulcan said. “I cannot imagine the sadness you felt, the loss you have experienced. But if I may say so, you are incredibly strong and brave. You live everyday to the fullest, and bring light and joy to all those around you, despite the terrible burden you must carry from your hardships. Vulcan children do not fantasize, they do not invent incorporeal playmates. But I imagine if they did, I would have created one similar to your Starboy. I...was not treated well by my peers, because of my dual heritage. Everyday, my classmates shamed me, tormenting me, slandering my parents, even physically attacking me. Vulcans are not kind by nature. My only true companion was my pet, I-Chaya, but he died when I was seven. My troubles do not begin to compare with yours, but I can sympathize what it is like to feel alone, to need a friend. Even when I entered Starfleet Academy, a much more culturally diverse and liberal minded community, I was an oddity. But I found a friend in you, James Kirk. You who accepted me, who cherished me as no one ever has. I wish you to know that you are not alone. You will never be alone...my _t’hy’la_.”

“Oh...Spock,” Jim sniffled, falling back into Spock's arms, hugging him tightly. Spock closed his eyes and buried his face in the warm crease of the human’s neck.

After several minutes had passed, Jim slowly raised his head and stared deeply into Spock's eyes. His nose and corners of his eyes were pink and slightly swollen, but he still managed to be so, so beautiful.

Spock closed the small gap between them and pressed his lips against Jim’s. Jim reciprocated the kiss, his fingers knotting themselves in Spock's shirt. He leaned close, desperately needing support and comfort, which Spock was happy to give. Jim's hand found his, and Spock felt complete as Jim's mind touched his. _Ashayam_ , he thought.

“Sweetheart,” Jim echoed verbally.

Their kissing deepened, becoming more urgent. But they as they were becoming carried away...

“Spock.”

The sound of a gentle, yet cool female voice broke them apart. The two young men turned to see that an elegantly dressed Vulcan woman was standing in the doorway, gazing imperiously at them. “I see now why you asked to break our marriage bond,” she said. Her face betrayed not one flicker of emotion.

“T’Pring,” said Spock, rising to greet her. “You have come.”


	4. A Month Later, Continued

“T’Pring?” Jim whispered as Spock raised his hand with his fingers parted in the Vulcan salute. “This is your wife?”

Dammit. She was gorgeous.

The Vulcaness nodded at him, her sensitive pointed ears picking up on him. “Indeed.” She looked at Spock and nodded, returning the gesture. “My husband.”

“How did you find me here?” Spock inquired.

“The man you share dwelling with—he who is called ‘Scotty’—directed me here when I did not find you in your dormitory. He said you would be in the company of this human.”

“Um...” Jim stood up too and clumsily saluted. “Hello. I’m James Kirk. Spock’s friend.”

“A friend,” T’Pring repeated, side-eying Spock for confirmation.

“He is,” Spock agreed. Then he switched over to Vulcan. “ _Komihn-ish-tor weht-do besu. T’hy’la t’nash-veh._ ” (The human is more than a mere friend. He is my _t’hy’la_.)

“ _Ac’ruth du?_ ” T’Pring asked, raising an eyebrow. (Are you certain?)

Spock replied with great conviction: “ _Nam-tor u’yeht vah ug’yel-shenong ug’yel-tevanong. U’yeht vah wak il stukh. Ish-tor shi’masu t’nash-veh svi’eshikh. Nam-tor k'hat'n'dlawa_.” (It is as true as the sunrise and the sunset. It is as true as time or space. He is my oasis in the desert. He is the other half of my soul.)

“Such strong emotion,” T’Pring remarked, switching back to Federation standard. “It has always been said that thy Vulcan blood is thin.”

“Hey! Don’t talk to him that way!” Jim snapped at her. “What are you even doing here anyway?”

T’Pring raised an eyebrow at him—maybe that was a common Vulcan thing. “That is between my husband and me, James Kirk.”

“Jim, perhaps T’Pring and I should leave. We have much to discuss,” Spock said gently.

Jim bit his lip, then nodded. “But before you go, I just want to say that...Spock has never cheated on you, T’Pring. He was only kissing me because I was upset about something. Don’t get mad at him because of me.”

“Anger is a human emotion,” T’Pring replied. “And I do not care what my husband’s private life entails. You can set your mind at ease.” She turned on her heel, her long Vulcan robes flowing behind her as she marched down the hall.

“I will return to you, my beloved,” Spock quickly said to Jim, kissing his hands. “This I promise you.”

Jim nodded wordlessly.

* * *

The two Vulcans walked among the greenery of the garden outside the dormitory. The winter weather was yielding to the spring, so their desert biologies appreciated the warmth of the sun on their skin.

“T’Pring. Thank you for coming here.”

“I assumed you could not take a leave of absence from your training, and I thought this collusion should take place as soon as possible. And it would do well to confer away from our families and their politics. It was the logical choice.” T’Pring walked with her shoulders back, her chin slightly raised, her hands folded before her. She walked with all the grace and dignity one would expect from a highborn Vulcan.

“Indeed,” Spock nodded. His own gait was somewhat lofty as well. But it was clear his human peers’ casual strides had influenced him to slouch a bit. Plus Spock was awkward and lanky, with gangling limbs and large feet, as if he had never quite grown into his own body. (Jim had once lovingly called him “Stretch”.)

“As I am sure you have theorized, I do not wish to be your wife. Otherwise you would have not dared risk insulting my family by asking me to sever our betrothal bond.”

“No, I would not have.”

“It is understandable, given the controversial actions of your older siblings.” T’Pring paused, peering at Spock out of the corner of her eye. “Have you heard any news on them?”

Spock cleared his throat. “My brother Sybok is still missing. I do not believe he has any interest in contact with anyone from Vulcan. My sister Michael however is doing quite well. She was just named First Officer of the USS _Shenzhou_. But surely you did not come here to collect gossip on my family.”

T’Pring made a soft nasal noise that would have been considered a derisive laugh if she had been human. “Forgive my curiosity, Spock. But your clan is somewhat legendary on our planet. Especially you.”

“Me?”

“Of course. You were the first in history to turn down a place at the Vulcan Science Academy. And here you have advanced impressively--do you not receive your starship assignment when you graduate after the next scholastic year?”

“Yes,” Spock answered. “Though it has been hinted that I will most likely be assigned as an executive science officer.”

“I congratulate thee, Spock. I am...pleased that you have found your niche here in Starfleet.”

Spock raised his eyebrow. “I am surprised by your support.”

“Do not be. I bear thee no ill will, Spock. I wish for you and your human only satisfaction in your life together. You do mean to spend your life with him, do you not? After all, you claimed he is your _t’hy’la_.”

Spock cleared his throat. “If the universe allows our paths to intertwine in such a way, yes, I shall spend my days with him.”

The corner of T’Pring’s lips tugged upward ever so slightly, betraying a hint of a smile. To a human, it would have looked as though her face was set in stone. But Spock caught the tick. “Have you enlightened your human as to the _particulars_ of our kind’s biology?”

Spock was unable to stop the flush of green in his ears and cheeks. “We have not discussed such matters as of yet.”

“I would suggest you do so soon. He will find out sooner or later, when your Time comes upon you.”

“I appreciate the advice, but with all due respect, it is really none of your concern, T’Pring,” Spock said, fighting to keep the scandalization out of his voice.

“No, not anymore, I suppose.” There was something almost akin to amusement in T’Pring’s manner. “Well, I suppose we should commence with what I journeyed here to do—dissolve our marriage bond. Then you will be free to pursue your human, and I will be free to take the mate of my own choosing.”

“You have acquired another suitor?” Spock said in surprise.

“Oh yes. You know him: our old classmate, Stonn.”

“Stonn. Yes, I remember him. Was he not the one with the lowest rank in our graduating class?”

“Third lowest,” T’Pring replied, her brown eyes flashing with annoyance. “He will be a good mate nonetheless. He is built like a true warrior. Very strong, well-muscled.” Her eyes fixed pointedly on Spock’s slender arms.

“This is good. He will be well-suited for a position in physical labor.”

“Shall we proceed?” An irritated edge to T’Pring’s voice had sprung up.

Spock nodded. “Indeed.” He and T’Pring both brought their hands to each other’s face to establish mental contact...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so bad at remembering to update this thing!!!! Anyway, this chapter was getting too long, so I split it in two. Then there should be one more chapter after that.


	5. A Month Later, Continued II

Jim paced anxiously in his dorm, waiting for Spock to come back. It had been hours!

Jim checked his clock. Okay, it had been more like 15 minutes. But it felt like much longer.

_What could she want to talk to him about? Is she going to make him go through with the marriage? I can’t understand being able to resist Spock! What if Spock changes his mind? What if he decides he wants her instead of me? She’s gorgeous, and probably more on his level intellectually...oh God, I can’t take much more of this waiting! When is he going to get back? When is he-_

“Jim.”

Jim looked over his shoulder to see Spock standing in the doorway. “Hey,” Jim said, trying to sound non-chalant. “Where’s T’Pring?”

”She is gone. She only wished to stay long enough to set our affairs in order.”

 _Our affairs_. Jim felt his heart plummeting. “Oh. So...when’s the wedding?” he asked, plastering a fake smile on his face.

”What wedding?” Spock asked.

”You and T’Pring’s.”

Spock blinked at him. “I am not marrying T’Pring.”

Jim’s eyes widened. “You’re not?”

”Of course not. I am romantically tied to you. I am not interested in T’Pring.”

”But...you said your affairs...”

”Yes. The terms of our divorce. Why did you think T’Pring journeyed all the way here?"

"Uh..."

Spock cocked his head to the side, slowly smirking. "You were not jealous of her, were you?"

"What! No way," Jim laughed nervously.

Spock crossed the room, cupped Jim's face in his hands and pulled him into a firm, yet tender kiss. Jim had to force his knees not to buckle. For a member of a seemingly dispassionate species, Spock sure could sweep Jim off his feet with a kiss. 

"My _vaksurik duhsu_ ," Spock rumbled fondly, stroking his cheek. "Have I not made myself clear? I could not love any other but you." Spock settled his forehead against Jim’s. “You are as vital to me as the air I breathe. You are the warmth of the sun against my skin."

Jim blushed. "I know...but she was so pretty."

"You are moreso," Spock countered slyly.

Jim blushed even harder. "Yeah but...I just feel like you're too good to be with me. I mean, out of all people, especially _her_...would the hell would you choose to love me?"

Spock's brown eyes turned soft. "Oh, my beloved...loving you was not a choice. It was an _inevitability_. But had I the option, I would still choose you, every time."

Jim bit his lip, feeling tears well up in his eyes at the heartfelt declaration. He surged forward and pressed his lips up against Spock's. "I love you too, Spock. _Ashau nash-veh k’dular_."

Spock raised his eyebrows in pleasant surprise. "That is the first time you pronounced that phrase correctly."

Jim grinned. "I wanted to surprise you. I've been practicing--Nyota's been tutoring me. She's quite the  _cunning linguist_."

Spock rolled his eyes and kissed Jim once again.

“Mmm. Wait." Jim pulled back. "You called me something before T’Pring walked in on us...you called me your _t’hy’la_.” He smiled. “Friend, comrade, and lover, right?”

Spock flushed slightly. “It is a bit more complex than that. I admit that when I first told you its meaning that I was giving the simplest translation.”

“Explain it to me,” Jim requested, lacing his fingers with the Vulcan’s.

Spock couldn’t meet his eyes. “I cannot be sure as I have not melded our minds...but I believe we are...” He trailed off.

“Hey, come on, sweetheart,” Jim sweetly coaxed. “You can tell me.” He began stroking the back of Spock’s hand with his thumb soothingly.

Spock blushed further from the innocuous touch. The back of his hand was not nearly as erogenous as the front, but it still made his heart beat somewhat faster. Then again, it could be simply that it was Jim who was touching him this way.

“It is a bit complicated,” Spock worried his bottom lip with his teeth. “It was a term born on the battlefield, during the tribal wars of my Vulcan ancestors. It is a word that predates Surak, and it does not have a direct translation to Federation standard. But I will explain to the best of my ability.

“During the ravages of war, sacred bonds of brotherhood formed between warriors, much like the one between your Earth’s Achilles and Patroclus, or Alexander the Great and his Hephaestion. These emotional ties usually led to deep friendship and amorous love. This type of kinsmenship between two warriors was very singular and very special. To have a _t’hy’la_ was believed to be the equivalent to finding the one’s other spiritual half.”

Jim’s eyes slowly widened. “Spock...it sounds like you’re describing a _soulmate_.”

Spock considered that and nodded. “That is a fitting synonym for it.”

“And that’s me?” Jim asked, breathless. “I’m your soulmate?”

“Again, I cannot know for sure unless I meld with your mind...but yes. I believe you may be the one.”

“Then what the hell are you waiting for?" Jim gasped. "Meld with me. Because I love you so much, Spock, and I want to be your soulmate so badly I could explode!”

"Do you know what you are asking for?" Spock asked. "Have you ever experienced a mind meld before? It can be a very invasive ordeal the first time, especially one as deep as a mind-compatibility test."

"I don't care. I trust you. With my heart and my mind."

Jim's gaze was so warm and earnest, Spock could not deny him any further. Besides, he too longed to join his mind and the human's. "Alright. Sit down."

Jim sat down on his bed, and Spock pulled up Jim's desk chair so that they were facing each other. "Do I have to close my eyes?" Jim asked.

"If it makes you more comfortable," Spock replied. "But you should remove your glasses."

Jim slid his frames off his nose, set them on his nightstand, and closed his eyes as Spock reached for him. Spock's cool fingers posed on his face, cupping his left cheek. His index finger settled on the side of his nose, his thumb on his chin under the left corner of his mouth, and his remaining three fingers lined up along his temple. Jim could feel Spock's nearness, and although it was nothing new, the intimacy of it all still raised goosebumps on the back of his neck--in a good way.

" _My mind to your mind_ ," Spock whispered. " _My thoughts to your thoughts..._ "

And strangely enough, Jim suddenly _something_ , a gentle brush. Suddenly his _self_ felt very separate from his body, and Jim realized this must be his psyche, his mind...his soul. And Spock's was touching his. It was something quite different when Spock simply touched him and Jim could hear what he was thinking. "I can feel you," Jim said aloud, in awe.

 _Yes, Jim. We are now of one mind_.

Jim decided to try his hand at telepathy. _You can’t hear my thoughts all the time though, right?_ he asked mentally.

_No, only when we are physically touching, and only when my mental shields are down._

_Like the night we first kissed._

_Yes._

Jim involuntarily recalled the memory of that night, the softness of Spock's lips, the gentility of his hesitant touch, how cute he looked when he blushed...

_Vulcans are **not** cute, Jim. And they certainly do not blush._

Jim smiled at the sensation of Spock's false annoyance, masking bashful happiness at the memory. _Well, if it's not a blush, then what's that greenness in your cheeks? And I don't know about all Vulcans, but **you** certainly are cute._

The sensation of happiness grew, overwhelming the irritation. Jim both mentally and physically smiled.

In Jim's mind's eye, a shimmering energy form took shape. It was flickering white and blue and green and turquoise and purple. _Is that...you?_

 _A mental manifestation of my psychic essence, yes_ , Spock affirmed.

 _It's so beautiful_ , Jim marveled. _Your inside is just as beautiful as your outside_ _. I can't believe I'm seeing your soul...what do I look like?_

 _Pure gold_ , answered Spock, smiling. _Just like the rest of you._

A tendril of Spock's essence reached out toward Jim, and suddenly Jim didn't know where Spock ended and he began. He felt more warmth and pleasure than he ever had in his whole life...

The next thing Jim knew, he was lying on his back on the bed, with Spock kneeling over him. "Whoa!" Jim breathed, staring up at the Vulcan. "Did I pass out?"

"In a sense. The gravity between our minds was so strong that it was too much. Your human mind wasn't prepared for such a connection."

"My whole body...I'm tingling all over...but in a good way. Is that a good sign?" Jim asked.

Spock nodded. "Very good."

"So...does that mean that we're...?"

"Yes, Jim. You are my _t'hy'la_. And I am yours."

Jim smiled. "I knew it." He pulled Spock down for a glorious kiss.


	6. St. Patrick's Day

The next evening, the cadets celebrated Saint Patrick's Day at Uhura and Gaila’s party. Starfleet cadets were always looking for an excuse to, as the humans would say, let their hair down. They were all drinking and dancing--Nyota and Scotty, McCoy and Carol. And almost all of the partygoers were dressed in green--all but one.

Spock let out an undignified squeak as he felt a slight pinch on his buttocks. "Sorry, sweetheart," chuckled Jim, coming around from behind him. "Couldn't resist an ass that nice." He kissed away Spock's unamused frown. "What's with the uniform, anyway? You're supposed to wear green to avoid getting pinched." Jim gestured to his own green and black flannel shirt. There was a large pin on the front of his chest that said " **Kiss me, I'm Irish**." "Even Gaila wore green. She could show up naked and avoid getting pinched."

"This is a foolish tradition," Spock said. "I doubt any of the people here even know what the significance of this holiday is."

"So? Who cares? We're just havin' a little fun." Jim held his hands and grinned flirtatiously. "You should try it."

"Vulcans do not have fun, Jim."

Jim rolled his eyes. “Oh come on, Spock.” He gestured to his pin. “Do what the button says.”

Spock smirked imperceptibly. “Unfortunately, Kirk is a Scottish family name. Not Irish. Therefore, your button is a fal-”

Spock was cut off as Jim pulled him down by his scarlet uniform collar and pressed their lips together. Spock readily surrendered, letting his arms wrapped around Jim’s waist. Their kiss deepened as Jim draped his arms around his neck, bringing him ever closer. Spock thought he might lose himself in the warm human lips against his own. It would not be an undesirable way to go.

Across the room, Spock heard their friends hooting their approval at them. He felt heat blossoming in his cheeks and at the tips of his ears.

Jim eventually pulled back when they both needed oxygen. He stared at Spock’s face, drinking him in. He traced one of Spock’s flushed cheekbones tenderly with his thumb. “You know...I do believe green is my favorite color,” he remarked with a wry grin.

Spock blushed even harder and silenced Jim with another deep kiss before he could tease him further.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo, done! About three months late, but whatever. Anyway, next month I'm posting another story for this series called "Elements", about summer, and that'll be the last one. Thanks for reading. <3


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